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False Nostalgia
1) The bus moves slowly. A few stops remain until my workplace. The ringtone of a fellow passenger’s Nokia, resembling my mother’s ringtone, makes me get off right there. 2) It’s April 2 on the solar calendar. While wandering around my neighborhood, I enter a forested, mountainous area. The smell... Read all
06 April 2019So what? (2)
From a life perspective, people can be divided into two groups: the resigned and the inquisitive. A vast majority rush through life chasing things they themselves know have no real value, while a very small number constantly question everything, seeking to understand the reasons and meaning to the b... Read all
31 March 2019April 1, 2019, Istanbul
Although a little over ten days have passed since the shock I experienced in Ankara, today I can say that I’m fully stabilized and everything is back on track. The work environment is extremely energetic and ideal. I managed to rent a decent apartment near the company. On weekends, I do an extra day... Read all
31 March 2019First Love
This note has been resting in my backpack for a while. Every time I listen to this amazing performance, words that don’t seem connected keep replaying in my mind. Tonight I tried to link them together, but I didn’t get a satisfactory result. So, in the same style as this piece, I’m publishing it bol... Read all
31 March 2019Barking up the wrong tree
A few days ago, after several months, I went to Beşiktaş Pier. The day I left Istanbul, I never thought I would ever feel so happy to return. While pouring my heart out to the sea, a scene caught my attention. A not-so-innocent teenager asked an elderly alcoholic (probably homeless) man to give him ... Read all
29 March 2019Statistics and numbers from a year of consistent writing
Statistics and numbers from a year of consistent writing This post was originally meant to be published before Nowruz 2019, but due to certain events that happened in the last days of the year, it stayed unpublished until today. It’s also slightly improved and more complete now. Over the past ... Read all
29 March 2019March 21, 2019, Nowruz, a hotel in Istanbul
Less than a week ago, on March 13, following a wave across Turkey targeting foreigners, I found myself unexpectedly caught up in the chaos with my jaw dropped and eyes wide open, without any warning or preparation. Exhausted and frustrated with my company situation, I packed my things without resist... Read all
21 March 2019March 17, 2019, Ankara
Yesterday evening, I decided to make my final efforts before completely sinking into depression and try to shift my mood a bit. Of the three problems I faced, I left one to fate, forgot the second, and dealt with the third and main one by letting it go. My mood isn’t perfect, but it’s much better th... Read all
17 March 2019March 16, 2019, Ankara
Spring rain falls, and in the corners of the hills and mountains, you can see fresh green grass and tree blossoms about to bloom. Normally, I should feel good, but here I am, sitting in a café near my home, writing these lines. In recent days, the foundations of my life have collapsed, and I lost... Read all
16 March 2019March 12, 2019, Ankara
The days pass like lightning and wind, and I am bewildered, struggling to break free from the habit of waiting. The habit of expecting the current “thing” to end. I have spent a lifetime waiting and being promised that once this critical situation passes, I will live. But this so-called critical sit... Read all
12 March 2019We share, therefore we exist
F. Banafshe in her recent post suggested that sharing loneliness makes it smaller and more bearable. A diagram came to my mind illustrating this theory, showing that dividing loneliness not only diminishes it but actually questions it entirely. When “we” lonely people are alone only for ourselves... Read all
09 March 2019On Condemning Multidimensional Life
The following paragraphs have been written over some time. The point I want to make is clear, and the way to say it is straightforward. But the first paragraph refuses to come. We’re stubborn. This piece has no introduction, no preamble, no lead-in. Damn it. I crave single-focus living. I want to... Read all
04 March 2019